It’s been 2 weeks. 2 weeks since I got the news. 2 weeks since I heard your best friend crying through the phone while he told. It’s been 2 weeks since I forgot how to breathe on my own.
I miss you. Being around you. Being able to touch your face. Being able to tell you everything I am thinking and feeling. To your face. I just miss being able to smile with you.
It’s so weird to know your gone. I thought I was finally going to be okay. I thought I would be able to wake up and carry on with my life. Then today happened. I went to dial my sister’s phone number and the next thing you know, my phone was calling your number. I dropped the phone and completely felt as if my world had shattered all over again.
This time when I broke, I didn’t cry. I just held my stomach. I felt it to make sure that gaping hole that had been ripped through me all over again, wasn’t real. I had to be sure, I wasn’t hollowed out.
I can’t move on right now. It’s almost impossible. I’m floating through my daily life. I know it’s what I have to do. I’m carrying on.
I just wish I could hear your voice again. Anything. Tell me you miss me too, yell at me… I don’t care. I’m always going to miss you. Always.
It will be easier to breathe one day. I just know it.