It’s Days Like These, That I Miss Days Like Those

It’s been 2 weeks.  2 weeks since I got the news.  2 weeks since I heard your best friend crying through the phone while he told.  It’s been 2 weeks since I forgot how to breathe on my own.

I miss you.  Being around you.  Being able to touch your face.  Being able to tell you everything I am thinking and feeling.  To your face.  I just miss being able to smile with you.

It’s so weird to know your gone.  I thought I was finally going to be okay.  I thought I would be able to wake up and carry on with my life.  Then today happened.  I went to dial my sister’s phone number and the next thing you know, my phone was calling your number.   I dropped the phone and completely felt as if my world had shattered all over again.

This time when I broke, I didn’t cry.  I just held my stomach.  I felt it to make sure that gaping hole that had been ripped through me all over again, wasn’t real.  I had to be sure, I wasn’t hollowed out.

I can’t move on right now.  It’s almost impossible.  I’m floating through my daily life.  I know it’s what I have to do.  I’m carrying on.

I just wish I could hear your voice again.  Anything.  Tell me you miss me too, yell at me… I don’t care.  I’m always going to miss you.  Always.

It will be easier to breathe one day.  I just know it.

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