Inspire Me, Baby

(After hearing that the patient had a vasectomy.)
Amber:  “Oh he got a vassisamy!”

(After breaking a chair)
Amber:  “See. What happened was…”

(During an EKG)
Tanya:  “Hmmm. What should I write in the comment section?”
Me:  “Hmmm. I dont know?
Tanya types.
Tanya:  “Sexy boobies.”
Me:  “Go figure. haha.”

Me:  “Aww. I feel bad.”
Tanya:  “What’s wrong?”
Me:  “I didn’t punch Carlos in the face today.  :(”

Amber:  “I don’t do anything illegal…. except Jaywalk.”

(While waiting in line on Black Friday)
Me:  “Will you go see Twilight with me?”
Patrick:  “Um, I have to work that day.”
Me:  “I didn’t even tell you what day I want to go.”
Patrick:  “Well see, going to Twilight is a HUGE commitment”
Me:  “Jeez, you would think it’s easier for me to get you to commit to marriage than it is to get you to go to see Twilight.”
Patrick:  “Actually…. it is easier.”

Patrick: “You know, I like you so much, that if you ever went missing I would search for you until it rained.”
Me: “What if it’s a drought season or we’re in the desert?”
Patrick: “Well there’s exceptions, of course.”
Me: “That’s romance at its finest.”

(While sitting at Thanksgiving Dinner at the fire hall)
Me:  “… Tell them what you said, about Twilight!”
Patrick:  “What? Oh.  Yeah.”
Me:  “He said it’s easier to get him to marry me than it is to get him to go see Twilight.”
Patrick:  “See here’s my logic.  You can always get divorced, but you can never un-see Twilight.”

(Me and My sister are discussing Breaking Dawn one day at home)
My Dad:  “Don’t tell me! I didn’t see it yet!”
Me:  “Ummmmm. Dad?”
My Dad:  “I like Jacob better.  That Edward guy seems like a real punk.  Jacob is cool.”
Me:  “Um. Did that just happen?”

(While in class)
Amber:  “Judith, don’t even act like that, I’m about to take than Jawn…”
Judy:  “Jesus Amber.”

Me:  “I think it’s time I met your parents.”
Patrick:  “I would like that, but see… the problem is… they live in England.”
Me:  “What?  But weren’t you just at your parents house before you came here?”
Patrick:  “Yeah, but see that’s why I was late, my flight in from England was running late.”

Patrick:  “I’ll marry you, under a few conditions.”
Me:  “Oh this is going to be good.”
Patrick:  “You get to go off and do your doctor thing.  You go to work.  Okay?”
Me:  “Okay… so where is the catch?”
Patrick:  “Well, once you pay off your med school loans, get a good paying job making six figures, we buy a house together.  Then, we can settle down and marry.”
Me:  “Well, that’s not too bad.”
Patrick:  “I want to be a stay at home dad too.  And I want a man cave.  And I want an allowance.”
Me:  “200 dollars a week and you get to stay home with the ten kids.”
Patrick:  “3 kids.”
Me:  “8.”
Patrick:  “4.”
Me:  “5…. sets of twins.”

(On our first day of the last semester of Med School)
Tanya:  “I’m worried about this semester.”
Me:  “Yeah, me too.  Eff our lives.”

(Today in class)
Me:  “Judy! Can you write me a letter of recommendation?”
Judy:  “Roni, it’s the first day of the semester and already you are asking?”
Me:  “Well, I wanted to get a jump start.”
Judy:  “You know if I looked up over-achiever in the dictionary, I bet we would see a picture of your face right next to it.”
Me:  “Probably.”

2 thoughts on “Inspire Me, Baby

    1. Hahaha, Patrick is one of my good friends/ex-boyfriend. We dated back in May but we had a falling out because of our schedules. He’s an EMT by day and a firefighter by night. Haha. And absolutely! I will text you right now. 🙂

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