Results Are In: Cheapest. Wedding. Ever.

The Cheapest Wedding.

Okay, so I have been thinking long and hard about this and I have come up with a way to have the cheapest wedding ever known.  With Medical School loans stacking, Medical Bills unpaid, and what seems like a long list of supplies that I have to keep buying… I don’t have the financial means to have a really expensive big wedding when the time does come.  So, yesterday, my lovely firefighter friends, Patrick, and Patrick’s family have helped me comprise a list to make my wedding day the cheapest ever!  Haha.  Thanks for the help boys.

(Note:  This list is hypothetical.  Odds are in my favor that I won’t be getting married anytime soon.)

The Wedding DressWell since I don’t have a thousand dollars to buy a wedding dress, I figure I’ll just pull out a dress from my closest and drop it in a bucket of bleach over night.  That should make it nice and white.  Cheap and effective.

The TuxThe Lucky bastard that gets to marry me can wear whatever he wants.  Jeans and a T-shirt, A pair of slacks and a polo, whatever.  I’m not making it picky.

The Rings:  I actually didn’t come up with this on my own, so I don’t want to take credit for it.  Patrick made the suggestion that we just go down to the Halloween Store and buy one of those bags of spider rings.  You get like 100 in a bag for a dollar or so, so that should work fine.  As an added bonus, we will always have replacements!

The Decorations:  I have a boatload of Christmas lights.  String a few of them up on the rafters and call it a day.

The VailI have a bunch of curtains that I don’t use anymore, so we’ll just cut one up to size.  Wow, this wedding planning is way easier than I thought it would be.  Haha.

The MinisterSo we ran into a roadblock when it came to figuring out who would marry me for cheap.  That’s when it hit us.  We personally know a few Priests so that would just be a matter of a phone call or talking after mass.  I’m sure they wouldn’t mind.

The BridesmaidsI figure they can wear any dress out of their closet.

Groomsmen:  Pretty much along the same lines.  Anything they want.

FlowergirlHarley can wear a basket tied to her back full of leaves.  That way when she walks down the decking, I mean “Aisle” they will just fall out.

Bouquet:  I don’t know why I would buy flowers when I have some perfectly good bushes in the front yard that are growing pretty flowers.  I’ll just snap some off and use them.  Gosh, I’m so cheap.

Music:  We have a perfectly good working radio.  I’ll just put on some soft rock or love songs.  Not hard to find.

Location:  I live on 3 acres.  In the woods.  Nice and secluded. I have a nice deck in my backyard.  Perfect.

Rice:  We decided that throwing rice would be too expensive. So there are perfectly good leaves people can throw at us, or if you are feeling generous, pebbles.  There are tons around my pool!


As if the madness didn’t end there, we even planned out the reception.  Haha. We’re so productive!

Location:  We will literally walk off the deck and about 30 feet behind my deck, there is a little over an acre of land already cleared.  So pool party it is!  The pool will be open, the baseball field primped, and the lawn nicely mowed.  Now, doesn’t that sound classy!

Food:  It will be a strictly, BYOF.  Bring Your Own Food.  A potluck kind of style.  Everyone brings some kind of food to the reception.  It will definitely be different!

Music:  The radio will change stations from love songs to “Today’s Hit Music.”  That will liven up the joint!

Party FavorsAt the end of our lavish wedding, people can take home their very own pine cone.  Now isn’t that just special!

Honeymoon:  To be decided still.  I suggested the basement.  It’s a change of scenery, and if you are feeling adventurous, we can watch the Discovery Channel!


Haha, my gosh we’re so cheap… So all in all I think we worked out everything to be about $5.00 (not including the marriage license!)  Yay, I think I can finally afford to get married.


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