Its not love that hurts. What hurts is being hurt by someone you love.

I just want to write.  I just want to speak from the heart.  When the heart is heavy, it needs to unload.  To be happy, one can not have a heavy heart.  It weighs them down.

This is my heart unloading for a second.

If a boy likes you, he’d do anything in his power to be with you.  He’d open doors for you, risk freezing half to death just to give you his jacket.  They‘d walk in the rain without an umbrella just so you could borrow theirs.  He’d take you out to every place he knows just so he could show you off to all of his friends, not in as if you are a trophy or anything, but more along the lines of being so happy that they finally are out with you that they want everyone to know.  If a boy likes you he’ll take you to meet his parents and sweat out meeting yours.  He’ll want to make an awesome first impression on your siblings and befriend your dog.  He’ll want to hang out with your friends, and if you like him, you’d want that too.

In fact, if you liked that boy, that same boy who was doing all of these things… then you would want nothing more than to spend every possible second with him.  The problem is though, it seems the second a female starts admitting her feelings to the man, things change.  The doors no longer get opened, the nights out with you are replaced to night in playing X-box.  He stops offering you his jacket and when your sick, he doesn’t come over to see how you are feeling.  When things change, it doesn’t mean it has to be for the worst…

Boys act like they get the short end of the stick when it comes to dating.  Sure, they take us out to dinner or the movies, but that’s honestly a small price to pay.  A $50.00 night out with the girl that you care about, the same girl you want the world to see you with, is nothing.

I wish men understood just how many sacrifices women make for them, I mean, besides the obvious.  Yes, we sacrifice our bodies to have babies, but that’s not what I am getting at.  I wish they understood that women and men view everything differently.  Everything.

The three hours that he wasted playing Call of Duty, could have been spent as watching a movie with his girlfriend.  The nights that you “claimed” you couldn’t hang out with your girl because you had to clean your room could have been used as a night out with your girl.  It could have been used as a night to sprawl out on the couch with your arms locked around her waist as she nuzzled her face into your sweater.

I understand you guys have lives different from us women.  It’s just there’s a difference between the two.  See here’s the thing.  I’m one of those girls who doesn’t want to be a party girl.  I’m young and I’m domesticated.  Haha.  I’d rather stay at home, curl up on the couch and watch a movie.  I wouldn’t mind going out now and then.  It’s just.. I don’t know.  It’s not that I’m frustrated.  It’s more that I feel like I’m giving up.  How do you fight with someone who isn’t even there emotionally?  If he is, I’m not seeing it. I don’t like bowing down.  I don’t like having to feel like I am swallowing my resentment because I don’t want to fight.  I really don’t.  I just want a little support, that’s all.

Guys, if your girlfriend calls you and you don’t answer her, have a good excuse lined up because when she sees that you answer your friend’s calls but not hers, she won’t be happy.  Oh, and that’s the other thing.  Guys mistake women being “hurt” with girls being “drama queens” or “emotional.”  Words hurt, but actions hurt worse.  Just because we don’t say we’re upset, doesn’t mean we aren’t.  We’re not asking you to be mind-readers either.  We’re just asking you to put yourself in our shoes for a second.  Just a second.  Think, if it was your girlfriend doing it, would you be upset?  If the answer is yes, well then how do you think we feel?

Don’t downplay your girlfriend.  Don’t try to make her look stupid.  Don’t make stupid comments on her Facebook, because you know what?  The world sees that.  Her friends and your friends.   To you, you were just being funny making a ridiculous sarcastic comment, but to her, you were just another person putting her down.  You are her boyfriend.  You are supposed to be supportive of her. When everyone else is walking away and putting her down, you are supposed to step in and pick her up.

I may be a female.  I may be a little biased.  I’ll never see it from a man’s point of view and I am okay with that.  Just see it from our side for a second.  Love your girl, because if you don’t she will go out and find someone else who will.  Guide her and support her.  Show her that you are engaged in everything that she does.  It will mean the world to her.  When all the world is fake, remind her that your love for her is real.  When her world is crashing down, help her rebuild.  Remember the little things.  Remember anniversaries and holidays.  Understand that she might not ask for a gift but the element of surprise is priceless.  Surprise her with flowers, take her to a new place, a park, a movie.. whatever.  When she says she wants to talk to you, don’t wait seven hours to get back to her.  It’s just hurtful.  Take a minute out of ‘guys’ night’ to call her.  It will remind her that you are thinking about her, because believe me.  She’s thinking about you.  When she’s doing her homework, typing out that report, or studying for her last final; she’s thinking of you.

Let her know that she’s wanted.  The second she feels like you don’t care anymore, is the second she starts questioning herself.  When she dresses up, tell her how beautiful she is.  She didn’t put on those heels and that dress for herself.  She didn’t spend two hours doing her hair because she was bored.  She did it because she wanted to remind you that the same beautiful woman you fell in love with is still there.  Still standing there.  Right by your side.  Just where you left her.

Remember that women are more fragile than they let on.  They will break when they are hurt, and they will fall when you let go.  Loving someone is easy, but caring about them is another thing.  Treat your woman right because if you don’t, someone else will.  With that I leave you with one of my favorite quotes, and surprisingly enough… it’s extremely fitting.

May you never steal, lie, or cheat, but if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows, and if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life, and if you must cheat, then please cheat death because I couldn’t live a day without you. Cheers!

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4 thoughts on “Its not love that hurts. What hurts is being hurt by someone you love.

  1. This is a great post, I can see both sides of the fence fairly efficiently. Just an opinion from a man’s point of view, there’s women (And a lot of them) that are brain washed by music and Hollywood to have a hopeless romantic heart. That can also have a back handed effect of making a woman too clingy, and that is something that will drive some guys away.
    From a woman’s point of view? (Mine) There’s guys out there that are decent. But if you lack self esteem, it shows… Guys pick up on that whether they know they do or not. They will sweet talk you, hold those doors open and even chuck a burger down your throat to get his rocks off. Then comes one of two things, you become a string along or he plays the “Easy let down card”

    I see it everyday from both sides of the fence. Both men and women need to stop thinking with their hearts and start thinking with their intellect. Meaning, balanced thinking will help anyone make a better decision and not have too many of their emotions blurring their glasses and over looking red flags and letting “No no’s” slide.

  2. I wish all couples could think as you think but our time is so different that it s nearly impossible to see real loves. Or when you love someone you can not be sure whether he\she is the same person as others, yes! you love him\her but you cant be whether she is the real person whom yoou are looking for.or whether he\she loves you,too. I love someone she is my classmate, also she is the first whom ı love.ı m not little:) ı m 18 years old. I dont know ı never loved any girl as a love.and ı wasnt sure whether ı m really in love with her until ı saw your page by chance and your words(She’s thinking about you. When she’s doing her homework, typing out that report, or studying for her last final; she’s thinking of you). I do the same things.I have always studied and ı never care girls as love.But she is the one ı want to be with me for the rest of my life, and she loves me so much,too but ı am not sure whether she is in love with me,too.I want to tell her but ı m afraid of losing her.so can you tell me how can ı realize that she loves me too.ı m freshman at this works…I dont want to lose her and ı m not that kind of person who looks for girls to spent their days with them.İf I were, ı wouldnt have been alone until this time.Thanks.!!!

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