This isn’t easy, but then again, I guess break-ups never really are. First off, let me just start by saying that I really enjoyed these past few months with you. We did a lot of fun things together. There was a lot of outdoor activities, running through the woods with the kids and Harley, and a lot of my projects were completed. On a positive note, you decided this year, not to be a frigid bitch and freeze my yard over. You didn’t make it snow and I didn’t have to worry about plowing my driveway out. This year, I didn’t slide off the road due to ice, like last year’s mishap. I can tell you learned your lesson after last year’s break-up. That’s good. 🙂
However, there are a few things you need to work on. Now, I am not going to feed you that b-s line that, “It’s not you, it’s me.” We both know the truth. It’s you. It’s all you. I don’t like the fact that my beautiful garden was frozen over to look like a pile of worthless sticks. I didn’t spend spring and summer pruning them to look like a bunch of twigs. All of the trees in my yard looked dead due to your unkind breath of cold air. It’s not very attractive. Pop a mint or something.
This year, I didn’t put my car in a tree, that’s true. Instead, I slipped and fell in a parking lot and hurt my knee. So thanks for that. I appreciate it. You are inconsiderate and honestly, a bit bi-polar. One second it was mid 60s, mild, and sunny. The next second it was 22 degrees, 40 mph winds, and blistering cold. I can’t take your mood swings. It’s just out of control. You need to work on that.
I’m sorry things didn’t work out. Maybe we can hang out sometime, next year. Call me sometime next November and maybe we can meet up for some hot tea, if you are in the area. For now, I think it’s best we see other people. So, I guess now is as good of a time as ever to tell you that I am breaking up with you for a younger, hotter season. Spring. Sorry you had to find out this way, but I think it’s for the best.
We’ll always have Antarctica.