You take the ‘L’ out of lover and it’s over.

Sometimes, it’s not worth it.

Sometimes it’s not worth trying to work shit out in a relationship.  If you are having problems within the first two or three months of a relationship, it’s not going to work out.  I’m not saying this because I’m a cynical heartless bitch.  I’m saying this because it’s the honest truth.  I don’t mean little problems either.  I mean big problems.  Not problems like “Oh, he used to date my ex best friend from when I was in 5th grade” or “Well, her parents don’t really like me…”  No.  I’m talking serious problems.

Problems you wouldn’t even tell your closest friends because you are just overwhelmed with the fact that they are happening so early in a relationship.  I’m talking about death of loved ones, worrying about figuring out whether it’s a long-term relationship you’re in already, because you are considering moving.  Yeah, those are just a few to start, I’m sure there’s a lot more.

See, the problem is… most people feel like, “Oh it’s a new relationship, it’s bound to have its problems.” No, that’s a load of crap.  No relationship should have you feeling like you have to work at it.  You shouldn’t feel like your relationship is just another job.  It’s not supposed to be that way.  If you feel like you put in 40 hours a week at some job, then it’s not a relationship.

I’m done trying.  I’m done feeling like it’s a 9 to 5 work day.  It shouldn’t be this hard.  I’m 22 years old.  I’m not 50.  Starting and maintaining a relationship shouldn’t be that difficult, but for some reason, it is.  It’s probably me, but at this point, I don’t care.  I’m not going to change who I am to be with someone.  I am not going to “put in hours” just so I don’t have to feel alone.

If someone doesn’t like me for who I am, then they can leave.  I’ve worked too long and too hard to be where I am today.  I have sacrificed too many sleepless nights, too many early mornings… I have sacrificed a social life to hard work and no one is going to take that away from me.  Done deal.  I am a very understanding person when it comes to a lot of things.  I can understand working late hours or business trips.  I get that sometimes stuff happens that will counter your previous plans and you have to cancel.  What I don’t get is making rash decisions because your unsure where things are headed….

I’m ranting, so before it gets too off topic, I’ll bring it back.  Relationships have their ups and downs.  There are going to be great days and bad days.  Days you are going to look at each other and think, “This is it. This is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.” and then there are days when you look at each other and think, “If there was no witnesses around right now, I would smother them with a pillow.”  Well, maybe not that far, but you catch my drift.

Relationships are hard.  They require loving unconditionally sometimes.  If you see that your relationship is headed down a path that it shouldn’t be on, don’t worry.  Honestly, just get out before you look back and think, “Where has six years of my life gone?”

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3 thoughts on “You take the ‘L’ out of lover and it’s over.

  1. My coach once said, that the first three months of the relationship are the honeymoon period. Problems that rear their head in that time, are not the ones that will go away, and if it’s already rocky then, it’s probably not going to get better. She was one of the wisest women I know. She gave us a lot of very specific advice and coaching both in athletics and in life. She wasn’t always right, but 99% of the time, she was.

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