Quotes from My Birthday

(Me):  *While Introducing people* “And Michelle this is Shannon.”
(Michelle):  “Shannon?”
(Me):  “Yes, he’s the guy I told you that helped me out last St. Patty‘s Day.”
(Michelle):  “Oh my gosh, that’s him!!”

(RJ):  “Yeah, I’m a Communications major. Remember?”
(Me):  “Yeah, a totally worthless major that is.”
(RJ):  “Worthless!  I’ll show you when I am making my millions.”
(Me):  “I get half of your first million cause you love me. And we’re best friends.”
(RJ):  “You just called my major worthless.”
(Me):  “Yes, but that’s before you said anything about making millions…”

(Me):  “Christine! I love you.” *I kiss her*
(Christine):  “Oh honey, you’re drunk already?”

(Me):  “Way to be an asshole and only come out for a few minutes.”
(Shannon):  “What? I’ve been here for an hour already!”
(Me):  “Yeah right, you got here at like ten.  It’s….” *looks at watch*
(Shannon):  “Almost midnight.”
(Me):  “Shut it….”

(Me):  “Let’s make a contract. Whoever makes a million first splits it.  It’s only fair.”
(RJ):  “Fine. I can live with that.”
*I write out a contract on a napkin.*
(RJ):  “It says, ‘Whoever makes a million first, gives me half.'”
(Me):  “Sounds legit.”
*RJ Blows his nose on the napkin.*
(Me):  “Hey! Stop blowing your nose on our contract. I can’t get that notarized with boogers on it!”

(Shannon):  “You still have my sweater.”
(Me):  “You still have my belt.”
(Shannon):  “No, I don’t.”
(Me):  “Yes, you do.  I have been holding your sweater hostage.”
(Shannon):  “No, I really don’t.  I donated it to Goodwill.”
(Me):  “My belt!  You donated MY belt?  You are such a jerk.”
(Shannon):  “You still have my sweater though.”
(Me):  “No I don’t.  I lost it months ago.”

*I’m outside, Drunk, skipping across the parking lot.*
(RJ):  “Roni, what are you doing?”
(Me):  “Dancing….and skipping.”
(RJ):  “In that parking lot?”
(Me):  “Why not?”

(Random guy):  “Kiss her!”
*RJ kisses me*
(RJ):  “I just did!”

(Christine):  “Birthday girl, you’re amazing.  I love you.”
(Me):  “I am amazing, aren’t I?”
(Shannon):  “You’re something else.”
(Me):  “I know, I’m also fabulous.”
*We all break out laughing.*

(Christine):  “Man, this place is ridiculously busy. I can’t even get the bartender‘s attention!”
(Michelle):  “Roni, go talk to the bartender.”
(Me):  “What should I say?”
(Michelle):  “Tell him, he knows your dad.”
(Me):  “Does he?”
(Michelle):  “I don’t know…”
*I Walk up to the bartender*
(Me):  “Hey, you! You know my dad.”
(Bartender):  “Who’s your dad?”
(Me):  “Charlie…”
(Bartender):  “Yes I do!  What can I get you?”
*I turn to face my friends*
(Me):  “Whatever they want.”

*Later on in the night*
(Juan):  “We closed down two bars tonight.”
(Me):  “What time is it?”
(Juan):  “Time for you to go to sleep.”
(Me):  “But… I’m not even tired…
*Passed out*

 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Quotes from My Birthday

  1. (Me): *While Introducing people* “And Justinthis is Shannon.”
    (Justin): “Shannon?”
    (Me): “Yes, he’s the guy I told you that helped me out last St. Patty‘s Day.”
    (Justin): “Oh my gosh, that’s him!!”

    (Justin): “Yeah, I’m a singing major. Remember?”
    (Me): “Yeah, a totally worthless major that is.”
    (Justin): “Worthless! I’ll show you when I am making my millions.”
    (Me): “I get half of your first million cause you love me. And we’re best friends.”
    (Justin): “You just called my major worthless.”
    (Me): “Yes, but that’s before you said anything about making millions…”

    (Me): “Justin! I love you.” *I kiss him*
    (Justin): “Oh honey, you’re drunk already?”

    (Me): “Way to be an asshole and only come out for a few minutes.”
    (Justin): “What? I’ve been here for an hour already!”
    (Me): “Yeah right, you got here at like ten. It’s….” *looks at watch*
    (Justin): “Almost midnight.”
    (Me): “Shut it….”

    (Me): “Let’s make a contract. Whoever makes a million first splits it. It’s only fair.”
    (Justin): “Fine. I can live with that.”
    *I write out a contract on a napkin.*
    (Justin): “It says, ‘Whoever makes a million first, gives me half.’”
    (Me): “Sounds legit.”
    *Justin Blows his nose on the napkin.*
    (Me): “Hey! Stop blowing your nose on our contract. I can’t get that notarized with boogers on it!”

    (Justin): “You still have my sweater.”
    (Me): “You still have my belt.”
    (Justin): “No, I don’t.”
    (Me): “Yes, you do. I have been holding your sweater hostage.”
    (Justin): “No, I really don’t. I donated it to Goodwill.”
    (Me): “My belt! You donated MY belt? You are such a jerk.”
    (Justin): “You still have my sweater though.”
    (Me): “No I don’t. I lost it months ago.”

    *I’m outside, Drunk, skipping across the parking lot.*
    (Justin): “Bieberman, what are you doing?”
    (Me): “Dancing….and skipping.”
    (Justin): “In that parking lot?”
    (Me): “Why not?”

    (Random guy): “Kiss him!”
    *Justin kisses me*
    (Justin): “I just did!”

    (Christine): “Birthday girl, you’re amazing. I love you.”
    (Me): “I am amazing, aren’t I?”
    (Shannon): “You’re something else.”
    (Me): “I know, I’m also fabulous.”
    *We all break out laughing.*

    (Christine): “Man, this place is ridiculously busy. I can’t even get the bartender‘s attention!”
    (Michelle): “Roni, go talk to the bartender.”
    (Me): “What should I say?”
    (Michelle): “Tell him, he knows your dad.”
    (Me): “Does he?”
    (Michelle): “I don’t know…”
    *I Walk up to the bartender*
    (Me): “Hey, you! You know my dad.”
    (Bartender): “Who’s your dad?”
    (Me): “Charlie…”
    (Bartender): “Yes I do! What can I get you?”
    *I turn to face my friends*
    (Me): “Whatever they want.”

    *Later on in the night*
    (Juan): “We closed down two bars tonight.”
    (Me): “What time is it?”
    (Juan): “Time for you to go to sleep.”
    (Me): “But… I’m not even tired…
    *Passed out*

Give Us Some Feedback! :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s